Serve-us Work

In the program of Alcohol Anonymous we have some simple sayings, mantras and words of advice that don't always make sense to outsiders or even newcomers. 'Keep it simple, stupid', 'first things first', 'and 'let go and let God' are some examples. When I came into this program of recovery I didn't understand why fellow members were suggesting that I do routine tasks such as attend meetings everyday, recite the serenity prayer and to find a sponsor. In my own complex world, these tasks seemed too elementary to be the true keys of serenity. Ironically, you would be amazed at the power that such simple actions have on one's journey to living a happy, joyous and free life.

Not only am I a recovering alcoholic, but I am a full-blooded Irish woman, I am the oldest of three, I'm stubborn, a Taurus, and a McCarney; therefore, I tend to think that I am better off doing things my way rather than listening to the compelling advice of God's 'little helpers'.

Ah, I have to stop and literally laugh out loud at how twisted my thinking can be sometimes! The truth is, there are miracles, yes, miracles that happen everyday in my life when I get uncomfortable, step outside of my box, shut up, and do what I am told. When I let go of all the control I so desperately try to wring out of my life, and do what has been suggested to me, I truly feel on fire, I feel useful, and spiritually fit.

For example, I was in the program of recovery for probably six months or so and had heard numerous members talk about the physical act of surrendering their will to God. ( Insert your Higher Power in wherever I write God). People would talk about not just praying in the morning, at night or in moments of sheer depletion, but suggested to physically get on my knees and pray. I used to laugh to myself whenever I heard that. In a new-aged, modern life it simply felt too 'old-school', until I tried it for the first time. As awkward as it felt, worrying if I was doing it right, it started to have an impact not only on the way in which I prayed, but on my life in general.

I stopped getting on my knees to pray after a while. It seemed too repetitive. And boy, did my life suffer without that spiritual connection. So I recently started again. And you want to know what I have been praying for every night the past two weeks? I have simply asked the God of my understanding to use me to be of service of others, because left to my own devices, I am not good on my own. "God, please use me to do your will" I say,  "to be of service to others, to help serve as it is the only thing healing for my busted heart". Here are some of the miraculous things that have happened this past week.

Last Wednesday I had a couple of cases cancel, my work schedule opened up, and I was able to help a dear friend complete some house work that seemed to be an overwhelming roadblock for her. In return for my physical labor, I was able to hear her personal testimony, and was introduced to the power of forgiveness. This week I took on a service commitment with my home group- and with some organization we may have a more effective group for women in recovery to meet. I volunteered today at a middle school, worked with 8th grade girls, promoting leadership in women, and hopefully will have a positive role in at least one girl's life. I felt compelled yesterday to reach out to a woman at a meeting, met with her today for coffee, drove her to a meeting and am temporarily sponsoring her.

Now, please know that I am not posting these deeds for hope of a compliment or the chance at winning this year's Nobel Peace Prize. Rather, I want you to know how moving it has been for me to get out of my own head for short moments each day, for me to be of service to others rather than be so consumed with my own man-made challenges. I have felt so full, soft-hearted, and useful these past couple of days.  In a time where mere struggle, anxiety and panic would be comfortable, I am making a conscious effort to step outside of myself and reach out to someone else. The effects are healing.

I don't have the influence or power to change someones life, cure cancer or stop starvation. I am not a Saint. My point in this post is to remind my reader's how fulfilling the gift of giving is. Sure, it would be easier to engage in selfish behaviors, to get loaded, smoke a bowl, spend some money on material things or bathe in self-loathing thoughts. But all I know is the more I can service others, the more I reach out, and stay willing to do God's will, the more spiritually fit I stay. And to be frank, that is what is keeping me sane today.

So tonight, I will get on my knees and ask God to continue to allow me to be of service to him as he sees fit. So in your moment of frustration, of angst, stress or fear today, think not what you can do for yourself, but what you can do for someone else. Don't overt-think it. Keep it simple, stupid! For me, getting outside of the chaos that goes on inside my head is what is saving my life today. So I will continue to kneel down and pray for more opportunities, more divine appointments, and more chances to serve others.

'Tis the season to get involved people!