If I knew then, what I know now...

Ah, I love Mondays. They used to be the buzz kill to a great weekend 'trip', but now they are the day of the week in which I gain the best perspective. My therapist was out of town last week, so I went two weeks without a 'me' sesh, and as I was moving through my day today  I couldn't help but to feel a little off kilter. Now most people have their own preconceived notions about someone who is in therapy once a week; however,  before you get to judge me I will let it be known that I don't have to go to therapy, but rather I get to work on myself in therapy. Out of the 168 hours that consume my week, I allow myself 50 minutes to focus on nothing but me.

So, that brings me to the hot topic of tonight's conversation. One of my biggest struggles is is maintaining a balanced perspective on life. It is easier for me to jump to conclusions, for my mind to go to an irrational places and for me to comply to my dramatic story rather than to surrender to the moment. I am more comfortable in the black or white than I am in the grey. I tend to get ahead of myself a lot. I often unconsciously wear a 40 pound weight on my shoulders by convincing myself that after all I've been through, after all of the work I've done, and changes I've made- I should have it all figured out. (Insert therapist here). This is why I pay the big bucks- to be reminded that I am just where I need to be right where I am, and no- I don't have it all figured out. Oh, and news-flash, most people don't! Phew.

So after the relief wore off, i began to wonder- what am I missing? What is it that only time and experience can teach? I don't want to wait another 25 years to figure it out! I need the instant gratification, I want a quick-fix for the fear that tells me I am missing something.

So I decided to ask some of the older, wiser, more mature people in my life how they would answer this question; If you knew then what you know now, what would you tell the average 20-something year old about life in general? I mean picture meeting yourself at 23 years old- what would you say to that person standing before you? What advice do you have for those of us living in a vulnerable place? In ten words or less, what words of wisdom can you offer the men and women in my demographic? Here are a couple of the responses I got tonight.

The worst thing people can tell you is NO.  True that. Although not if you are asking if your jeans make your ass look big, or if you offer to pay the tab for a dinner party of 12. 

Get to know yourself. Easier said than done. Sometimes taking a raw, hard look at ourselves in the mirror is painful. However, you are bound to be delightfully surprised by something learned. I can check this one off my list- I am getting to know myself, inside and out. So far I've learned that I am an introvert not an extrovert, I enjoy writing, I am more productive when I am busy, self-care is hard work, and I am not perfect. That is just what I know about myself solo- not in relation to other people. Nah, I don't want to go there...

Don't be afraid to change. I like to think of myself as an adventurous,  adrenaline, risk-taker - but really I am terrible with transitions and am uncomfortable with change. The thought always sounds good, exciting and fun, but when push comes to shove, I like a little stability in my life. I am young and single though- when am I going to take that leap of faith, move out West, and dare to shake things up? Can't I just change my diet, my clothes and my attitude? What am I afraid of?!

Pace Yourself.  On Sunday I cheered on thousands of runners participating int he Twin Cities Marathon. The challenge seemed exhilarating, and I would love to someday say I completed a marathon, but I couldn't help to think how in the world these people could pace themselves for 26.2 miles! Once you know where the finish line is, don't you just want to get there as soon as possible? You mean the patience in the first half of the marathon makes up for the potential pain in the second half? Huh, what a concept.

I just took a deep breath- I can't live life in such a rush. Things will happen as they are supposed to...

As a general note- the peanut gallery made it clear to wait to get married and have kids for as long as possible! Ha!

I am really curious to know that other readers have to say. Feel free to respond with your own advice. I want to soak this all in sooner rather than later. These simple mantras gave me the perspective that I needed today.

Life is about living, it is about experiencing circumstances organically...but as Mary Poppins said, 'a  spoon full of sugar, makes the medicine go down'.